if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
