dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
