I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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