Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
