PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
