What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
