Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
