I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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