i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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