Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
