My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
