my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
