Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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