omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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