Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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