that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
