Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
