you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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