i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
