We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
BRING THE BAGELS
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
