At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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