I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
