He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
