I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
