wanna go halves on a baby?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
