I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
