Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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