I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just high enough for therapy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
