Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Two words: nipple clamps
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