I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
