she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
