Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
