even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
