My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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