omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
