i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
