we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
