He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
