the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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