Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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