K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
