so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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