If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
