porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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