She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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