the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
