redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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