i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
