My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The feeling are messing with the penis
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
