I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
