whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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