Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I believe in your delicious
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
