i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
