These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
